...called a noodle

I wrote this a few weeks back and posted it in my other blog. Just thought I'd share with the Blogger crowd...

"What's it like having three boys?" An innocent question asked by the man in line behind me at Wal-Mart at 11:30 pm.
"Like I live in a circus, or a traveling zoo!" I answered as I ran after Aaron who was darting out the front door because I wouldn't let him play with the big foam noodle that he was using to beat the unsuspecting passers by.

The Wal-Mart expedition started out like any other. We unloaded all three boys and entered the store optimistically, sure that we would swiftly find what we needed and make a quick exit. After realizing that all of the carts were being used for stocking purposes, we left the store to find one and re-entered slightly less optimistic than before. We wandered over to the pool toys to make a few selections for Joey's party and found two shiny new foam noodles. The boys were thrilled and promised not to hit people or things with them if I would let them carry their special new toys through the store. Since we are in need of various light bulbls throughout the house, it seemed prudent to go to the light bulb department next. Do I even have to tell you what happened then? Aaron decided to declare war on a shelf of light bulbs with his bright orange pool noodle. I took the noodles and hid them between the pallets of boxes that were impeding our every move while David ran to get some janitorial help to clean up the broken glass. I turned my back and Aaron grabbed the noodles and ran down the towel aisle, probably hoping that my "mommy butt" wouldn't fit between the boxes that lined the aisle. My flip flops slid across the freshly buffed floor as I barely nabbed him by the nape of his neck. I half whispered and half screamed at him as we continued on to the camping department.

I watched the monkeys while David looked for tent stakes. Aaron was still throwing a fit because I wouldn't let him have the noodle. He threw himself on the ground and I walked away having decided that I really was going to leave him. I only hoped that nice people would find him and love him. I thought better of it, turned back, and he was gone. He had literally vanished. Just as I was about to declare a Code Adam and have the store put on lock down., Joey announced that he had found him. The little angel had crammed himslef in a two foot cubby between boxes under exercise equipment display. David became Houdini and squeezed in the tiny gap to retrieve him. I placed Aaron in the cart and we decided to hurry to find the few remaining items on our list.

As we rushed through the store, we struggled to keep the noodle out of Aaron's grasp (they were a gift for Joey's party, and I decided that he shouldn't be punished because of Aaron's actions, so we kept them in the cart). But much to the dismay of a group of annoying female adolescents, he was able to grab the four foot stick of fun and whack them as we walked by. They giggled and 'oh my goshed' and scurried away. As the girls passed us again one blurted out "Oh my gosh, like I don't want to get hit again!" Feeling slighty agitated and a bit like an adolescent myself, I waited for them to scuttle off and I said,"Oh my gosh, like I don't want stupid to rub off on me either, but you dont hear me complaining!"

David realized that Mommy needed to get out of the store so we made our final selections and checked out. As we drove home, I thought there must be something that I missed, I thought about how hard I try to discipline my children and teach them how to act appropriately. I wondered what I had done to deserve such a nightmare at the wonderland that is the Victorville Wal-Mart on a Friday night. So I asked, "Where did I go wrong hun?"
"I'll tell you where we went wrong dear" David said "we started out by giving our two year old a four foot floppy sword called a noodle!"